Flirting should be your foreplay

I love flirting. In theory. I’m too shy to actually execute anything I'm thinking about…but just believe me when I say I'm the biggest flirt around (in my head of course). Flirting is your body’s way of unlocking a curiosity inside, typically when it’s spotted a certain person. When you master the art of flirting, it’s like everyone becomes a player in your favourite video game. So go crazy.

I know I said I can’t flirt in real life but that may have been a lie. I can flirt, but only when I’m 99.9% sure the attraction is mutual, and once I figure that out, I’m all for it. Making someone uncomfortable is a big no no in my books, alongside rejection - which may be the prominent factor of the two but we’re not here to talk about rejection so let’s move on. Flirting is incredibly fun when I actually have the courage to do it (or when I’m drunk). It’s like playing table tennis, but being unsure of whether the ball will come back at full speed, or gently, or at all. Sometimes you flirt and you get a rally going with your opponent, not knowing when you’ll stop, not wanting the game to end, not knowing if the ball will come back into your court. Or how you’ll play when the ball comes back your way. Your brain creates scenarios you can’t stop thinking about and now you’re hot and flustered at work - tuh tuh! But that’s the beauty of the game, you can just play again with a new opponent or better yet, the same person.

I’ve seen a lot of content online about flirting and it made me realise I need to up my game. I haven’t met a lot of good flirters and if I really rack my brain nobody comes to mind (apart from one or two who shall not be named). I think there’s a difference between naturally coming off as flirty and intentionally flirting. A lot of natural flirters tend to be very charming and confident in themselves, whilst intentional flirters can be a lot more tactile. I’ve spoken to a few people who have been told they’re flirty and the common response was that it wasn’t intentional. Sometimes their personalities are just mistaken for being flirtatious when they’re actually just being their usual selves (a common misunderstanding amongst neurodivergents). However, when you’re intentionally trying to flirt with someone, you have to think about what to say or where to position yourself so you can pique their interest. I think everyone has the ability to flirt deep down, and that skill can be awoken when you find someone that’s caught your eye. Like I said before, I know how to flirt and I love flirting, but when it’s with someone I like, I turn into a limp piece of spaghetti and every human function I’ve ever known goes out the window. I don’t hate that feeling though; it reminds me that I can still feel nervous and it leads my brain along hundreds of different paths, a different storyline at each end. My thoughts go wild and I’m left with a million “what if’s”. 

Flirting is the key to unlock the door that is foreplay, before the actual foreplay. You’re in control of your own key and everyone around you is a potential door. Not every key fits in every door and sometimes yes, the key fits; but that does not equate to turning the key and unlocking the door. Sometimes it’s just nice to know you have a pretty good key, so go try out a few doors.